Parenting

My hubby and I had a date tonight and we had some interesting discussions. We agreed with each other and it wasn't insanely active discussion, but my major discussion point was this: If your child had a problem with something, i.e. drugs or alcohol, wouldn't you do everything in your power to help him or her? And beyond that, wouldn't you go out of your way to make sure that your child wasn't exposed to those types of things during their recovery?

For example:
A teenager (we'll say this teen is maybe 17 or 18 years old) develops a drug and alcohol addiction. A parent, who is aware of the addiction, takes their child out to dinner for a birthday celebration and orders a few beers (for themself, the parent. Not for the kid.). How does that make sense? I understand that an adult has the right to enjoy alcoholic beverages if they so choose, but as a parent, I would think that making a decision to abstain in front of my addicted child would only be in the best interest of everyone. Sure the recovery is going to be riddled with exposure to substances, but why put it in front of the person intentionally? Does anybody see my point here?

I then said that the same applies for an adult. I have people close to me who are recovering alcoholics. Knowing that their sobriety is important to them I respect them enough to not consume alcohol in front of them or when I know I am going to be around them. I guess to me it's courteous to not shove it in their faces that they are trying to avoid something that is going to cause them hell (or has already caused them hell).

More examples:
- Would you take a person who is on a strict diet and is making an effort to be healthy to an all you can eat buffet where you proceed to chow down and eat anything and everything in sight (including each of the 15 options for dessert) and tell them they can only get lettuce, no dressing?
- Would you take a sex addict to a strip bar and tell them not to look?
You get where I'm going with this...

So, to sum it up, I suppose that Eric and I were really discussing respect for others and how humanity anymore seems to not have any respect for each other. We intentionally trample on the feelings and concerns of others because it suits our needs. Take the alcoholic teen I referred to earlier. The parent could have just as easily ordered a pop or water or tea and shown support for the teen's attempts at sobriety. If that parent chose to drink an alcoholic beverage at another time, so be it. But an hour of dinner without a drink in the presence of their child isn't that much to ask. Or is it?

And another thing...
I'm mommy and Eric is daddy. We are the ones who determine what is best for our child. If we feel that she is set in a routine and is established in the way things are done in our family and our home, then that is what we will be doing. There is no reason to cause our child undue stress while adding financial strains to our already shoestring budget just because someone thinks that our child needs to be in a certain environment (which might I add she has never been in up to this point).

Case in point:
I was told that Olivia should be in day care 5 days a week, even though we really only need child care for two, possibly three days a week (every Tuesday and Thursday, and every other Monday). Eric and I are curious to understand how it makes sense to take her out of our home when he is already here to care for her. If she were in day care 5 days a week, what would Eric do while she is at day care and he is at home? She has been in this routine since she first started day care with Lacey at the tender age of 6 weeks old. This IS her routine. She doesn't need a 5 day a week routine. That's not what she's used to. *sigh*

Again, we just want to do what is best for our doll baby.

Olivia and I are going to interview another provider on Monday. Lacey is absolutely fabulous and we are incredibly torn up about not having her as a provider anymore but Mommy can't handle the drive to and from West Point anymore, and it's not fair to Olivia. When I worked in Fort Madison, it was better, but it's getting to be too much. Especially with the weather starting to warm up now. We are going to want to be outside and doing things and we just get home to late to do much together. So, we've been looking for a new provider in Keokuk (because Dan and Lacey aren't moving to Keokuk. Ever.). The lady we are going to talk with on Monday will be the fourth person we've talked with. I just really want to find a place where Olivia fits in and where I feel comfortable with her being. I want an environment that has kids her age and an adult who interacts with all of the kids and is really involved in their activities throughout the day. Is all of that so much to ask? :)

So, I guess I'll sum it up by saying that I just want the best for my daughter. I want her to know respect for others. I want her to learn and grow in a happy environment where she is supported by the people around her. If she has a struggle in her life (such as addiction like I was mentioning earlier), I want to support her and help her find possibilities to overcome her obstacles. I do not want to set obstacles in front of her. I want my daughter to enjoy life and the world around her. It is going to be hard enough for her to grow up. Why place more obstacles in front of her that she doesn't have to face?

Why do that to any child? But of course, we're not the world's parents...